Saturday, December 13, 2008

Shopping in Absurdia: Holiday Edition

So I was slogging through Target today, along with what seemed like most of the population of greater Portland, trying to finish my Christmas shopping before it starts snowing. I was loitering in the electronics department, waiting for my husband to stop being mesmerized by the DVDs, when I noticed an adorable little girl. She was probably about 5 years old, blonde hair, blue eyes, pink jacket, fluffy white hat... the very image of little girliness. Then she looks at her dad, reaches toward the shelf of DVDs, and says, "How about this zombie movie?"

It was all I could do to make it to the next aisle over before howling with laughter.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Omnivore's 100

Wow... I've gone a whole month without posting. I think that's a record for me. I have a bunch of ideas, but I haven't been very motivated lately. Thanks to FKV, though, I have some space filler - the Omnivore's 100 meme! Here we go:

Omnivore's 100
My score: 26. Not too bad I guess. There probably should be more stuff on the Won't Eat list, but I don't know what some of these things are. I need to get out more.

Bold=things I've eaten.
Italics=stuff I won't eat.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros Yeah, I know - What's wrong with eggs? I dunno... I just don't like 'em.
4. Steak tartare Janet's First Law of Food: Meat must be cooked, at least a little bit.
5. Crocodile I'm cheating a little - I've actually had alligator, not crocodile, but I say that's close enough.
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari Yuck. But I've eaten it.
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses - Huh??
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes I won't even touch the stuff made from grapes.
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream *Yum*
21. Heirloom tomatoes *Major yum... especially right off the vine, still warm from the sun.*
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras Ewwww...
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese All kinds of gross
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters Tried 'em, didn't like 'em.
29. Baklava YUM YUM YUM
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut Gross!
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea Not into cream or tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects NO NO NO!!!
43. Phaal
44. Goat's milk Not a milk person
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more I'm a cheapskate... and not a drinker.
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut Mmmm...
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald's Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV OK, so I'm boring and don't drink.
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S'mores
62. Sweetbreads Nahhh... and I'll even skip the suggestive comments.
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs' legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake Can I have some now?
68. Haggis I think not.
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare Does rabbit count?
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish Blackened... yum
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake