Friday, August 03, 2007

Queen of the couch

I don't have anything important to say (yeah, I know... Do I ever?) It's been an exhausting week. I started the week with a mild head cold. Then, Wednesday afternoon I fell off a curb and landed on my knees in the road. The damage isn't too bad--big ol' knot below one knee and some bruising and fluid around the other one. They don't really hurt that bad, but they feel gimpy and unsteady, and I can't walk very fast. I sort of trudge around like I did when I was pregnant, only I'm a lot smaller, thank goodness. But by this morning, I was wiped out. So I spent this afternoon telecommuting from my couch, which is a pretty nice gig. In case you're thinking of doing the same thing, here are Janet's Tips for Using Your Couch as an Office:

Note for my co-workers and employees: This list is purely for entertainment value. And it'll explain why I rarely telecommute... too many distractions!

  1. Assemble the necessary equipment:

    • Laptop with wireless internet access
    • Pillow(s)
    • Blanket (if necessary)
    • Junk food
    • Drink
    • Phone (regular and cell, so you don't have to get up once you're comfortable)
    • Entertainment: TV remote, iPod, etc.
    • More junk food
    • Chocolate
    • Someone to wait on you hand and foot, so you don't have to get up
    • Couch-side table to hold all this stuff

  2. If you're telecommuting because you have a cold that you don't want to share with your co-workers, you'll need some additional supplies:

    • Case of Kleenex (I recommend the kind with lotion unless you want to look like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)
    • Selection of cold medicines to treat your various symptoms. If the box says, "May cause drowsiness," be sure to put your laptop away before they take effect, so the drool doesn't short out your keyboard.

  3. Next, dress appropriately. Remember, even though you're on the couch, you're working, so wear your good sweatpants (the ones without mysterious stains on the butt) and a clean t-shirt. Strong BO can distract you from your MySpace survey... er, I mean spreadsheet.
  4. Use the bathroom. Otherwise, you'll just get comfortable, settled into an IM session... I mean report... when you'll have to get up to pee. Advanced couch commuters, especially males, may want to consider a portable urinal to avoid bladder-related distractions. A catheter, however, is not recommended, no matter how lazy you are.

Now get on that couch and get to work!

1 comment:

Terry at Counting Sheep said...

Not worthy, not worthy! You have elevated couching to an art form. Sure hope your'e feeling better!