Thursday, May 22, 2008

Seattle jokes

I used to live in Seattle, so I can relate to these, which were e-mailed to me years ago. The ironic thing is, most of the people I know who visit Seattle from outside the Northwest have great weather for their visit. It's just the Emerald City trying to lure them in...

A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that. She goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and, out of despair, asks, "Hey, kid, does it ever stop raining around here?"
The kid says, * "How should I know? I'm only 6."

"I can't believe it, " said the tourist. "I've been here in Seattle an entire week and it's done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?"
"Well, that's hard to say, " replied the local. "Last year, it was on a Wednesday."

What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle?
An average weekend

What did the Seattle native say to the Pillsbury Doughboy?
"Nice tan."

Meteorological experts were predicting a gargantuan rain storm that would destroy the Northwest with a flood. Rev Jessie Jackson went on national TV and said, "This is your punishment from God. Prepare to meet your Maker." The President went on national TV and announced, "Our scientists have done all they can. The end is near." The Seattle evening news came on and said, "Today's five day forecast.... - same as usual."

What does daylight savings time mean in Seattle? An extra hour of rain.

A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the gates of heaven. Others, though, were led over to Satan who threw them into the burning pit. But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss a soul off to one side into a small pile. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the best of him. So he strolled over and asked Satan..... "Excuse me, Prince of Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering, why are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?" "Ah, those..." Satan said with a groan. "They're all from Seattle; they're too wet to burn yet."

What do you call blue skies in Seattle? A 30 second time out.

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